Why can’t I find photographs of a fat Sharon Osbourne?

Question by Rusty Shackleford: Why can’t I find photographs of a fat Sharon Osbourne?
I don’t need a response like look for it in google images, or just search for it in a search engine. I have done active research in many periodicals, journals, delved through countless amounts of published entertainment archives, as well as interviewed very close associates of Sharon’s in the early days of Ozzie’s career. They were even shocked to realize that these pictures have gone missing when looking for them in order to disprove my investigatory work–realizing that the rare photos Sharon allowed her friends to take on occasion have gone missing–thus, the evidence has led me to conclude: That no individual can produce even so much as a link to a image of Sharon Osborne prior to her 1999 bariatric surgery, with the aid of the then, experimental Adjustable Gastric–by of a sequenced, covert attack on the lower middle class by elite globalist PR firms, under the divine guidance of New World Peruvian Spider Monkeys–thus completing their implementation of Ozzy and Sharon as poster-parents for the consolidation of mass media semiotics to grunts and hoots while making society conversant with the imagery of overweight, ‘healthy’ children and recovering, but skinny parents; which they have used in their monopoly of manufacturing and for the back to school, ‘bridge-the-generation’ marketing for the distribution to Target, JC Penny’s ,Kohl’s, etc. etc. ‘hipster post modern’ fashion line; opening marketing potentiality to all sizes
after overconfidence in the thread market gave way to record low yields.

Best answer:

Answer by blue-eyes
Get a healthy hobby.

Add your own answer in the comments!


3 Responses to “Why can’t I find photographs of a fat Sharon Osbourne?”

  1. *princess* says:

    i wonder why this is such an important issue to people. why are we so caught up in the celebrities? you say you’ve don’t research and it sounds like you have taken countless hours trying to find one photo of Mrs. Osbourne fat. why? it just seems a little funny to me. also i just don’t understand what got you from wanting a picture of Sharon ‘fat’ to ranting about how we are poisoning the minds of children with our fattening ways. yes i agree but it doesn’t connect with your question and you simply confuse me. im really just bored so i thought i would post my confusion and let you know that you make no sense and it’s people like you whom i get annoyed with most. but i don’t know you personally so we’ll just leave it at that.

  2. Greg J says:

    I just Googled “Fat Sharon Osborn”. Pretty easy pal.